am i better?

after a decent night's sleep am i better than i was last night? a little...
the problem i have is i replay events in my head that have made me mad or irritated or annoyed.. making me feel those ways all over again. i replay my reaction to those and it's almost therapy, maybe, as i replay them and then i imagine myself responding differently, in a more positive mood. like yesterday when i snapped at the team for looking sloppy, being lazy... basically everything i don't coach. it was warranted but could i have said things differently?  i guess it doesn't really matter, does it?

i'm just torn because i feel like i only care about the top7-10 right now because i know they're working hard. not faking it. it's like jane has said to me many times in the past, why is she going to commit time to someone that's slacking or not getting it done when she could be putting more energy in to the varsity. i always filled that void to the jv and fs but im worried its not getting done now. but it is. it really is. i dont want people to see me "playing favorites" but i kind of have to! i do. it's going to get done.

http://youtu.be/O47D9S6biBQ?t=1m48s

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2PloBdHeow