The last song I heard in the car as my iPod died was K'Naan's Waving Flag FIFA mix. It was the perfect last song to hear before a race because the chorus "when I get older I will be stronger..." that ran through my head the whole race. On my hand I wrote Strong and Steady along with other things, people that inspire me: Isabelle and Sarah, LT, lil' Leprechan, Wheels, Rudy and some others. I sat in my car and did my prerace stuff, alone thinking and hoping for a good race. I crumpled my number to my heart and visualized all those people that mean so much to me. It's silly but it really calms me and also pumps me up so much.
"When I get older I will be stronger..."
I walked a little bit, waiting for my Jippus to find the satellites and eventually took off on a nice warmup. I was a little sore but I loosened quickly which comforted me. I found a potty and took my first of 3 stops before the race :o) Nerves I guess. I stopped in an alley to do my Lunge Matrix and other warm up drills, skips, chickens, leg swings and I headed to my Yellow Corral. The set up of this thing bugs me sometimes especially with dishonest people seeding themselves too fast or being selfish and getting towards the front of everyone. Sometimes it's frustrating when honesty falls by the wayside (or whatever that saying is). I tried to not let the 15 minutes of introductions bother me either. Knowing the first women's olympic marathon champion was there pumped me up too.
"when I get old I will be strong..."
Ignoring the rants of people frustrated with the late start I kept saying that in my head. "I will be stronger..." strength, strong, power, words a boy needs to hear before a race :D Trying to stay loose for 25 minutes of standing around isn't easy but the periodic walk ups to the start line gave me a chance to get some skips in and stretch a little.
*~BANG*~
"I will be stronger..." Slowly turned in to "I'm dying and I'm having fun..."
Several people can attest to my bad habit of doubting myself before a race I care so much about. It's a bad example I suppose to my girls (that who I call my XC runners) who I strive hard to stress to them "confidence is the key to all the locks." I guess I just need those people that care about me to tell me "I GOT this" or "Tear it up!" or other words of encouragement. I think that's human nature? It's our way of getting those we love and care about to give us trust and passion and that strength we may desperately need. I need to remember this when one of my girls needs me to encourage them this fall. But there's nothing to it I think. It's so simple, one foot in front of the other over and over again really fast. What I do is get a great song that moves me and gets me in my HEART and BONES and makes me want to MOVE and INSPIRE (check) and I think of all those people that got me there (my hand, check) and sometimes it's something else. Not always, but sometimes. Today, with the doubt I had in my head I needed Randy Pausch.
Two weeks ago I had a HUGE mileage week, too big of a jump. 45 miles up from like 28 or something. But I knew the next week I would be hard pressed to get miles due to extreme heat, being out of town, and then on vacation so I overloaded to compensate. the next week I had 15, and my miles were slow and tiring and labored. I had worry. This week I wasn't too bad. Miles were bad but Thursday and Friday were SORE miles and stiff. I had more worry. Of course right? Then Wheels knocked some sense in to me, which she is SO GOOD at doing. I had a nice night of sleep and I controlled my controllables. But there is still a little bit inside that just won't go away.
"I'm dying and I'm having fun"..."when I get older I will be stronger"
Running up Brady St the sight is just awesome. I know it's nice being up front because you're in control but do any of them turn around to see the sea of people? I like being a little back because even where I was there was a SEA of people ready to rock 7 miles. Pretty cool. But this also got me too relaxed. I felt great and I said "I'm going to do this! I'm ready!" And then Randy Pausch entered my head. A man dying of pancreatic cancer who changed my life with his Last Lecture Speech and book. He looks you dead in the eyes and said "I'm dying and I'm having fun, and I'm going to keep having fun every day that I have left because there's no other way to play it." I remember this a lot. It's why I'm so goofy and weird. I told myself I'm going to BREAK 60 (my goal since early June) and I added "I'm going to have the most fun doing it." I waved to the Gospel singers, laughed at someones comment "I think they make Brady steeper every year" and B100's comment to a guy in funky short running shorts "Get a TAN man!"
Then Mile 1 hit and I lapped myself at 9:30. "DAMN!" I thought and I tried to not get carried away the next 2 downhill miles but I knew I dug myself in a hole. It bugs me when people slow down on hills RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR AWESOMENESS but it's also SO EMPOWERING to cruise on past them. Not too quick but STRONG and STEADY past them. Such a RUSH!!! I ate up Middle Rd hill for breakfast and cruised down to the 1/2 point in ~29:30. Little worried I didn't give myself a lot of wiggle room to break 60, considering McClellan Hill isn't easy and mile 5 was coming up, the hardest mile of the race by far. Many would agree.
"I WILL BE STRONGER" "FUN... FUN... dying and having FUN!!!!!!!!" Then some dumb song about being young...WE ARRRREE YOUNG!!! had the nerve to get in my head (stupid radios blaring) but I never doubt K'Naan for bringing me back.
Thank you Wheeler's- Jane and Kenny for shouting at me at the top of Middle on the way back. Thank you Abby Sturtzer for seeing me there also and waving and smiling with so much inspiration to get my butt moving down Middle Rd. I knew I needed to go strong and let it take me to make up some time. That's the BEST FEELING! STRONGER!!!
Kirkwood. I made you my bi**h today. Thank you to Lil Leprechan for tempoing this part with me a few weeks back because it wasn't bad. Seeing Chloe and Moser on there helped a LOT too. It's such a rush cheering on my girls and it's even a bigger rush seeing them respond and say "let's go with Hoffy" and help them achieve their goals.
Then the dumb flat stretch after mile 5 hit me hard. I HAD to stop for 10 seconds. It calmed me, brought my heart rate down and I rushed on. Stopped for a last water break before mile 6 and clocked me with about 9 minutes to break 60. I HAD TO GO!!
Then the dreaded Spiderman. I had to beat him. So I pushed down Brady. STRONG and STEADY, opening up my stride, hamstrings screaming at me. Quads pounding. I made the turn for the infinitely long last stretch. I found a 4th gear and I just kept pushing. "Nothing left!! There's no other way!! go! go! GO!! PUSH MAN!! PUSH!!" ~smile for camera... probably won't buy it any~~~~ GO!! 58:37!!! I GOT IT!!! Smiles! ~smile for another camera~~ won't buy that one either. I did it. Thank you. If you read all of this, you helped get me here. And you're the ones that have a place in my heart. Honestly.
Mile 1: 9:32 (was a little too relaxed :D )
Mile 2: 7:52 (splitted short though, only .97)
Mile 3: 8:12
Mile 4: 8:25 (not bad considering this is up McClellan)
Mile 5: 8:14 (toughest mile, SO HAPPY to see this split, also why I needed those walk breaks in mile 6 :D ) Mile 6: 8:39 (incl 2 short ~10 sec needed walks)
Mile 7: 7:46
You all make me so happy.
Thank you!!
-Hoffy
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